If you truly wish to be a guru of the hosting and enjoyment of tea and tea parties, then learning about proper tea etiquette is essential. A great hostess studies what is appropriate for she and her guests as part of planning to host an afternoon tea party.
NOTE: What is an afternoon tea? Afternoon tea is a mid-day light meal made up of dainty savories, scones with clotted cream and jam, and sweets. This came about in the 1840’s in England. But in modern times, afternoon tea has evolved into a set meal consisting of three courses of savories, scones, and sweets to be enjoyed by all as an occasional luxury.
Things to consider for an afternoon tea:
- Dress. A hosted afternoon tea party can be formal or casual. But casual should be a neat and pleasant look in attire – the “just came in from gardening” look.
- Keep personal items such as phones, glasses, etc off the table. You should designate a spot for such items to be kept safely.
- Pinky up is just a myth. Your pinky finger should be curled into the handle of the tea cup. The “up position or “pinky up” is a hold over from when common people in Britian were emulating the “ton” but had to hold their pinkies up to keep from catching them in the cheap and thin teacups they commonly used for tea.
- No noises. Tapping your spoon or swirling it around your teacup or slurping your tea is a definite “no no” in most parts of the world.
- Don’t leave your spoon in the teacup when sipping your tea. You should place your spoon carefully on your saucer when drinking your tea.
- Don’t put the spoon in your mouth. Its only for stirring in cream or sugar.
- Please leave the saucer on the table if you are sitting. There no need to pick the saucer up with your teacup unless you are standing or sitting away from the table. Then you should hold the saucer with your nondominant hand (typically the left) and your teacup with your dominant hand (typically the right).
- Don’t blow on your tea to cool it. Its considered rude to blow on your tea co cool it – let it cool on its own.
- Take sips of your tea. Quietness is greatly desired, no slurping or bottoms up.
- There’s an order to what you eat. 1) the bottom tier of finger sandwiches and savories 2) The scones with butter and jam and 3) the sweets last.
- Avoid swishing the tea around in your mouth. This is considered rude – tea is not a mouthwash. Use the cream/milk and sugar only with black tea; not with tisanes or other teas.
- You should eat with your fingers. Tea is susposed to be eaten with your fingers – for once this is the polite way to eat. So unless you are attending a very formal tea with soup and other “regular” dishes served (in that case, you will be provided the proper utensils), use your fingers.
- Break your scones into pieces and then add the butter/cream and jam.
- Never dunk your scone in your tea. This is just not done and avoid using your scone to sop up food – not cool ladies!
- Used flatware/utensils do not leave the table, just put it on the right side of your place setting. Fork tines should be up and knife blade facing you. This tells the server that you are finished. If you are not finished, then place the flatware on the left position with the fork (tines down) at the 8:00 and knife (blade facing you) at the :20.
- When you are finished, place your napkin to the left of your plate. While you are eating, it should be carefully placed in your lap.
- Avoid licking your fingers and dab with your napkin instead of “wiping”
Concentrate on the comfort and enjoyment of your quests
As far as you, being the hostess of a tea party, the most important thing to remember is to ensure each guest feels comfortable and has a truly enjoyable experience. Hopefully each guest will be talking about how they enjoyed attending your party and that it will be remembered for a long time to come.
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